The next Tesla model is gonna be made of bubblegum and popsicle sticks and using the handbrake makes it fill with chlorine gas.
The next Tesla model has tires that slash themselves whenever Elon Musk wants attention and you won’t be able to change them until you like 100 of his tweets
The next Tesla model asks you three riddles before you can charge it, but they’re really terrible riddles and if you get any of them wrong a Starlink satellite crashes into your house
The next Tesla model is gonna have no windows, doors, or roof, instead using a “force field technology” that doesn’t keep out insects or rain but will electrocute small children in or around the car.
The next Tesla model takes you on a magical nostalgic adventure through beautiful landscapes where you’ll fight the forces of evil and begin to uncover mysteries of your past only to reveal in the last second that there is no conclusion, none of it mattered at all and you’re an idiot for even caring about it. Then it kicks you in the stomach.
Can’t it be both?
Here are the stats for recorded crashes involving AFAS (level 2 automation) car tech! This includes things like lane centering and adaptive cruise control. Note that Tesla wouldn’t even get its own section on a graph of total cars with this stuff installed.
